Tipsheet

Biden Said He Warned Israel Not to Move on 'Haifa'

In today’s episode of ‘Joe Biden is Totally Fine,’ we have the president of the United States trying to recollect a discussion with Israeli counterparts about their anticipated ground operation in Rafah, the last Hamas stronghold in Gaza. He didn’t say that; instead, he made another trip-up by mixing up Haifa and Rafah. The good news is that I’m sure Israeli political and military leadership are resolute in not invading their city: 

These spectacles are becoming brutal to watch, and it doesn’t take a genius to see why everyone who is trying to flex their muscles around the world intends on doing so—they know this man isn’t going to do anything. In the times he does react, it’s always the wrong decision, like unfreezing Iranian assets and getting cozier with Tehran. The monies sent to Iran most likely, no—most definitely financed both Hamas’ training that led to the October 7 attacks and the ballistic missile barrage launched against Israel last weekend.  

The man knew this missile attack was coming and still went to Rehoboth Beach. He also greenlit the attacks, reportedly telling Tehran through Turkish officials that their strikes had to be “within certain limits.”

The president also told this odd story about how his uncle was shot down and eaten by cannibals in World War II, which later turned out to be a lie. He was lost at sea.